Evanescence
by Nobody426
Summary: Sequel to Wonderwall. AU God!Percy. Three years past and Perseus is more alone than ever. Annabeth sent letters, but he knew better than to bother someone who did not want to be bothered. Until one day, he received a letter: "If things are truly calm, ... then I would request something of you. Find me. A." And gods be damned, Percy will find her. Even if she doesn't remember him.
1. Chapter 1

**Evanescence**

Chapter 1. Begin Again.

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"If I'm such a legend, then why am I so lonely? Let me tell you, legends are all very well if you've got somebody around who loves you."

~Judy Garland

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 **DO NOT READ THIS STORY if you have not read _Wonderwall_. This is a sequel.**

 **If you don't care either way, here's a summary/recap of what happened in _Wonderwall_ :**

 **-SPOILER ALERT- 16-yo Annabeth Chase went to Goode and lives with her abusive stepmother, annoying stepbrothers, and apathetic father. When she finally could not take it anymore, she tried to run away, only to be turned back due to logistical problems (but not before she met a mysterious boy, Percy, on the beach.) Percy turns out to be a transfer student at Goode, and as they got to know each other, they started developing a romantic relationship. But something isn't adding up - something is just too supernatural about Percy. Annabeth discovered her status as a demigod, as well as the statuses of her friends Will and Katie. Her relationship with the godly world develops as well, but doubts also crept in. As Titan War started to rage, Annabeth witnessed a display of power from Percy, and a threat from Gaea, who intended to destroy Annabeth to control Percy. She tried to persevere, but an assualt from a few men one night caused Percy to freak out and destroyed many in the form of hurricanes and earthquakes. So, Annabeth realized that she had to leave him and that's how we get here.**

 **Welcome to Evanescence, everyone. It has been in works for 3 years after I conceived the idea of _Wonderwall_ and there was demand for a Percy POV sequel. It had been affectionately dubbed as Project E.**

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As I weaved through the streets of New York, I reprimanded myself for not teleporting directly to Hermes'. Although it has been three years since I said my goodbyes to Annabeth, the city has still stayed more or less the same. The Time Square. The Central Park. The coffee shop. Gods damn it all.

It's like I could see our shadows in the past-when she did not know what exactly I am-a stupid immortal boy, running around alone perpetually, all for what? I don't know, and I do not really like to think about it, either.

These three years passed faster than I would like to admit. I told Poseidon I would postpone my remaining nine years of break, but he granted me three more decades instead. I understood what he was giving me a chance to do-to live out these years with Annabeth, and maybe, start a family or something in the future. I also know that he was sending me another message: that I was independent, old and experienced enough to make my own decisions for when and how I want to work. After what happened in the Titan War, I had gained respect not only from the other gods but most importantly, from my father.

But he did not understand what happened. Why I did not end up with her even I love her. You see, my father does not understand (or believe) that mortals should have their opinions and free will. If he wants a mortal woman, he gets her. But I'm different. I was not different before, but Annabeth meant something more to me. She changed me.

She was something more than just a girl(friend). I really loved her.

I thought about going back into her life and begging again but got back to my post in the end. Nothing like this will end well-and Annabeth already made it clear that she did not want to have a relationship if it meant that any harm to her directly translates into suffering into the world. Her death will destroy me, and in turn, the world, too. We both knew that.

I was not strong enough to separate my state of being from my emotions, and I paid dearly. I know I can go back and try to present a case where I was stronger than how I behaved three years ago, but the reality is that another part of me was scared of what my enemies can do to her still.

It was only a few mortal thugs that assaulted her that night, but I did not dare to think of what my myriad of immortal, godly, supernatural enemies can do to her instead. Humans are so fragile, but killing her would not even be a fraction of what the worst they can do to her.

She could be tortured, she could die suffering, but worst than anything else, her soul could be destroyed completely and her essence could be erased from existence. I don't want to exist in a world without her, and as childish that may sound, I'd want to fade with her. The world and all the tides (and everything and anything else I was in charge of) can go to hell.

But alas, I'm a god. Not as proud and arrogant of that anymore, but I can see the bigger picture. Obligations and all that. Gaea and the Titan fight. Three years past, and it doesn't ever get easier.

Poseidon shuts down my scrying bowl upon my request. It is better this way, but I worry nonetheless. Annabeth still sends her letters, though, to my surprise. Sometimes she writes about Seaweed Brain, the new fish she bought (I wasn't sure if I were supposed to be flattered or offended); sometimes she writes about school and architecture. It's mainly idle one-sided chit-chat-I never had the heart to actually reply after the first year. It's not like she's really acknowledged what I said.

The battles, errands, meetings, businesses, and everything else completely overwhelmed me, and I welcomed the inundated sensations. It keeps me sane.

As for the letters: well, Hermes delivers them to me, and I'm grateful for his help.

When I finally arrived at the biggest USPS center in New York, I hear someone call my name.

"Perseus!" I looked to my side and saw the twin snakes.

"Hey Martha. Hey George." I greeted, ready to receive my letter this month.

"Good to see you, cousin." Hermes nodded, acknowledging me and handing me a letter.

I took it gingerly in my hand, nodded back, and left the door to go back into the city.

It's winter. It's funny how fast seasons cycle through each other, but I never realized their beauty until Annabeth was introduced into my life. I remember her putting the autumn leaves in my hair, and pushing me into a snow pile in Central Park. I remember so many things, but all I have left is a necklace on my neck, made by the twin sand dollar of the one I gave her.

She never called in the last three years.

Oddly, the letters still came, but I did not question them. It was her handwriting, neat and slender against white, standard printer paper. It looked like the ones that we would use to take from Goode's printers so that we could pass notes against each other in the hallways and with our lockers.

I was the most human I ever was with her, and that beautiful girl reduced me from a thousands-year-old god to an awkward teen boy. I miss her.

"Dear Percy," she started, as she sometimes does (other times she'd call me by some other weird nickname she'd invented. Strangely, her handwriting is quite uncharacteristically messy on this, a contrast to her usual neat ones.)

"I love you." I nearly doubled over at this, as she seldom tells me this in the letters, presumably because she'd already decided to leave when she wrote this. This... This killed me inside.

"You know I love you? I feel like I'd never really said this enough to you. If you're reading this, I'm glad that you've stuck with my adventures for the last few years... I've always been thinking of you, wishing you well. I hope that by now you've already let me go. I'm a mortal girl and you're a god, but you're the best god there ever was. For as long as I exist, you have a place in my heart.

"You are a good person, Percy. I know, before you argue with me saying that you aren't exactly a person, I need you to know that you're the best damn person out there. But understand how things are, right? You know how rough everything is, but Percy, listen to me. There were more. There were things - inexplicable things - going on back then. I could not tell you and I cannot tell you. But maybe a long enough time has passed since.

"Now, you need to promise me something. You CANNOT even TRY to find out what I meant unless everything is absolutely resolved. By everything, I mean every conflict/war/battle that you can possibly imagine in the Greek/Roman universe. If things are truly calm, if they really, really are, then I would request something of you. Find me.

"I don't know where I will be by then, but find me. A."

My mind went completely blank at the end of the note, thousands of thoughts racing through my brain each second. I felt my other forms all stopping in shock, even the one in Atlantis holding court. I could barely control myself, but I held my mortal form together, gingerly folded the letter and put it in my pocket, and started pacing down New York in search for an answer.

I'm not stupid.

Annabeth said she didn't know where she will be, which is an awfully weird thing to say if she wrote these letters just days ago. Is this letter pre-planned? Had she been in danger? I was tempted to go to Hermes, but she would not have made it so easy for me. Hermes could not know, either. She would not have him know where she is before me.

But there are so many things that are questionable. It's been two years since troubles with Gaea has been resolved, but I haven't heard from her all along. If she wanted to find me, (or vice versa) why didn't she mention anything? Why didn't she pray?

I channeled my powers to find her, and the corresponding sand dollar necklace, but I couldn't even feel her presence. What is happening? Why is the connection broken? My heart sank. She must have taken the necklace off - I know I should not be surprised (can you really expect anyone to carry a souvenir from an ex you had three years ago?! She probably already found someone else), but I was still upset. It never seemed that real she left me, and for me, three years passed in a blink of my eye. Three years was nothing to a god.

Panicking and horrified, I called Iris directly with my mental link and ordered her to find Annabeth for me via the Mist network. I did not even care to be polite, she could get mad at me later, but if she found Annabeth, I'd give her at least a hundred drachmas.

By some cosmic justice or sheer luck, she did find Annabeth because a demigod in the area had just tried to use the Mist earlier (and I guess she stores all the video footage or something because she remembered seeing Annabeth in one of the Mist conversation surveillances) and told me to head for Crema Cafe on the 8th street.

I didn't bother and just teleported, tripping over my own feet and with my brain completely scrambled, hope and love spilling over me. Gods, this is going to be amazing. I never even bothered trying to find another girl, for physical pleasure or otherwise, I just wanted Annabeth. She even asked to see me, I want to build her the biggest palace anyone has ever seen, even though she probably isn't into living in huge palaces.

I'll buy her all the Frank Lloyd Wright houses, and I'll love her better than I have ever had before. I want to bring her to Rhodes again, and then to our castle where we had our first dance. And I want to let her be proud of me for all the reading I had done, and how I've controlled my temper so well that no hurricanes or earthquakes or really, natural disasters of any sort that can be traced back to my powers even threatened to surface in the last three years.

Gods.

Oh gods.

Right before I stepped into the cafe, I ran through the lines again. She asked me to find her, right? There shouldn't be any kinds of trick - Hermes delivered the letter to me. Just like he had in any week. But just last week she was still being aloft, just casually mentioning about her life in college, and how a boy (I wanted to zap him) tried to hit on her.

Normal mortal things, like how she deserves to live (just as she wants to; drama free, gods free), but god, all those lines before hit me, so casually cruel in the name of being honest. But now, I'm gaining more and more suspicion. This last letter seems to be more genuine than any of them, yet it does not mention the fish or college or Sam in her math section. It asked me to go find her if everything is peaceful. And gods damn it, I'll do it if it's the last thing I do.

Crema Cafe has a regular atmosphere just like any other - I navigated myself through the tables to the back, looking for her frantically. She must be at one of the tables, right? Maybe she's reading a book, or sketching, or talking to a friend, or something...

I could barely hold my form together, eager and nervous in anticipation, turning my head around wishing that she did not leave this place just yet.

Just then, someone tapped me on the shoulder - I swerved around, annoyed, nearly losing my temper. Can't whoever wait? I'm in the middle of doing something very important. "Please just wait-"

I turned around, stopped, and took a step back in surprise.

There she was, three years older, fully an adult. She is twenty. Must be at least in her second year of college if her letters held true. She's just as beautiful as ever, gray eyes lighter than I remember, a casual smile on her lips.

A smudge of cocoa powder is right by her brow, but her hair is still curly and messy, held up by a blue hairband. She was wearing owl earrings, and an apron that said "Crema Cafe." I realized that she worked here.

"Can I help you, sir?" She asked, a smile tugging her lips.

A few years back we'd joke with each other, but for some reason, I don't think she is pretending to not know me. I don't think that unrecognition is fabricated and it's breaking my heart. I have no doubts that this is (was) my Annabeth. I am too familiar with her presence to think otherwise.

But she does not seem to be familiar with me at all. There is no trace that she is the same girl who had just wrote me a letter days ago asking me to find her.

"Annabeth?" I tested. "Wise Girl?"

"Yes, Annabeth." She looked at the name tag on her apron, "Good thing that you can read, I guess. But Wise Girl? I've never heard of that one before."

My heart broke.

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 **New and old readers, I hope that you have enjoyed the new chapter! We are already off the ground running in terms of the plot. Any speculations on what happened are welcome and encouraged :)**

 **Will try to update weekly. But real world problems can really get in the way.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Evanescence**

Chapter 2. The Little Things.

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"I wish I could wake up with amnesia, and forget these stupid little things..."

~Amnesia, by 5 Seconds of Summer

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 **A/N: Hello. Today is Nov. 11, so it is unfortunately a few weeks too late for the weekly update. As per usual, shit really happened in my life; but that's life, you know? The real world's tough. But it gets better; it must.**

"Annabeth," I repeated, tasting her name on my tongue. I haven't had to say it for three years.

"Can I help you?" She repeated, looking concerned. "What is wrong? I really don't believe we've met…?"

She is definitely Annabeth, there is no fault in that. But how could she not recognize me? Unless the world is playing a very, very cruel game, I think I'm either missing something or she's deeply mistaken. But my Wise Girl was smart, capable, and would definitely not pull at my heartstrings like this, so there's definitely a gap of knowledge on my part.

"You don't recognize me?" I said, visibly upset now, and I could see Annabeth getting nervous. Not nervous as in I'm lying and I'm worried, but nervous like I've got a crazy customer and I don't know how to deal with him. I've gotten a lot better at controlling my domain in tandem with my emotions, but I can already tell you that Thailand's not going to have a good day in terms of tides and storms.

I want to peek inside her mind and memories, to see what is wrong and who is muddling with it all, but I've made a promise to myself and to her to never concern myself with such a behavior and I could not go back on my words now. Especially when I need her (or not, but I still love her, and unfortunately, I also have a hero complex.)

"Hello, sir? I think you may have the wrong person. If we have a problem, I'd love to help you connect to our manager in the back. I'm sure John can help." Annabeth said firmly.

It absolutely agonizes me, but I respect it if she does not want to talk. However, I have a very strong feeling that something more sinister is happening, something so bad that involved the gods or something even more. Something that had the power to play on our vulnerabilities and caused my oversight. Something very, very wrong that had gone on for a while.

I quickly thanked her and apologized, she looked puzzled, but at least she did not call her manager on me. But what I do know, is that that was absolutely Annabeth, and Hermes has it coming for him.

* * *

"HOW DARE YOU." I marched in back to the USPS, hands lighting up with power. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?"

I roared, and the temperature of the entire storage unit dropped to sub-zero quickly. Storms started brewing across New York, and my mind is filled with the sound of turbulent waves and thunder cackles.

I hadn't been able to react or think, simply too stunned to think about the implications of what had just happened, but my temper grew quickly once I left and teleported into the unit where I just saw Hermes at.

Now, I understand that it probably was not something that Hermes did, probably not by a long-shot (he's always the deliverer, nothing more and nothing less) but he had made this arrangement with her, and if there was something going on I definitely deserved to know. He should have told me.

Hermes continued on evaluating and sorting packages like I was not there, which made me incredibly infuriated and frustrated. Nothing thinking clearly, I lunged at him, pinning him against the conveyor belt and gritted my teeth. "Don't make me ask again – What. The. Fuck. Happened."

He pushed me off, and dust himself off. Throwing his staff out, Martha and George turned into huge snakes on the floor, hissing and not very friendly all of a sudden.

"I don't recommend you doing this." He said calmly, referring to the fight and the fact that I wanted to pursue the truth.

"I need to know. I deserve to know. How could you?"

"Please don't."

I balled my fist, raising it to my side. "Or what?"

"Percy, ask yourself this, do you deserve it? Do you really deserve to know?"

"Whatever it is, yes. I love her."

"What makes you feel so entitled to her? Does she even have a choice?"

"She loves me, and of course she has a choice! I let her leave me!" I said, fantasizing a scenario where I could just beat the shit out of Hermes for some information. Of course, I would not do that – that'd prove how childish I am, but also I am in general, not a douche bag. Hermes had been nothing but kind (except for now) to me throughout the millennium.

"That's Old World thinking. You didn't let her leave you, Percy. She's supposed to have a choice. She doesn't owe you anything."

"Something is clearly wrong," I injected. "I need to help her."

"She seems fine," Hermes said. I can't believe how nonchalant Hermes seem to be.

"She doesn't remember my name. That's not right. Her memories are gone and I can't just sit on the sidelines and do nothing."

Hermes paused, stuffed another package back into his bag and sighed. "I can't do anything about that. I'm just the messenger. Not a god of memories. I can't do anything, I'm sorry."

I gritted my teeth. I don't understand why I have been so temperamental all of a sudden – I hadn't been this way for years. But the scabs on my heart had just been ripped apart, and I think for all these years, I never got the closure that I deserved.

 _Deserve._

But Hermes really had a point – did I deserve to know what is truly happening? I'm not dumb – there's a reason why Annabeth handed the letters to Hermes for him to distribute them to me over these past periods of time. Why did she do that? For some reason, she knew that things may not go well, that maybe she'd forgotten things (me) and she wanted to reassure me of her well being. I don't get it, but I think Hermes knows.

I want to know, but do I really deserve to? Maybe she wanted to be left alone; maybe she was afraid of my wrath and entitlement, of what I would do if she had let me down any harsher. Had I really been so horrible and ignorant? Had I really been so terrifying? I feel awful for even thinking that I had let her leave instead of her leaving on her own accord. It was that traditional Greek thinking, but it was not an excuse.

"Percy, it's going to be alright," Hermes said, putting his hand on my shoulder to placate me. Martha and George returned to his staff, eyeing me cautiously.

I shrugged him off but did not make any more aggressive gestures or statement. I don't think things are going to be okay; things are not okay and sometimes they aren't going to be okay. But what I know is that things have to be okay; even if Annabeth does not care for me anymore, I want to make sure that the memory loss was not of any malignant origins.

"She told me to find her," I said, unfolding Annabeth's letter carefully from my pocket. "Her words, right here. I'm not trying to force myself on her. She wants me to find her, I swear."

Hermes teleported and took the letter from my hand before I could react. He materialized some lemonade how of thin air (?!) and poured it on the right-hand upper corner of her letter.

"Hey!" I said, confused enough to not yet become as angry as I thought I should. "What the hell are you doing?" I stormed up to grab the letter back but stopped when I saw the faded ink on top of the letter.

In Annabeth's handwriting, her initials "WG" was scrawled on.

Hermes sighed. "I suppose you're telling the truth. I'll tell you everything I know – which isn't a lot, so don't perk up, but I suppose that she does want to find you."

I took the letter back and glared at him, upset that Hermes had information that I was kept from, but also paid attention and gestured for him to continue. I touched the sand dollar on my neck, the necklace that once belonged to Annabeth, and reminded myself of my promise to stay calm.

"This," He pointed at the corner, "proved to me that it is Annabeth who wrote the letter. She would not let me read any of it, and I swore on the Styx I won't unless you come running with the letter. And only then, I have to validate the letter by pouring some lemon juice on it to see her initials before helping you. Oldest trick in the book." Hermes clicked his tongue.

"Why—" I began.

"—so you don't counterfeit something to get information from me." He finishes. "Annabeth thought of everything."

He then twirled his staff around a little, thinking, before continuing, "now, I don't know what caused this memory loss, but she knew that something was happening to her. Something that involved you and the war that was happening. She said that it's not important, and emphasized that it doesn't really matter in the end. What she did know is that she foresaw something bad happening to her and that she wasn't able to tell you."

I wanted to cry; it was heartbreaking, but I know precisely why she couldn't tell me. She thought that I would have destroyed the world if I knew something this bad (did she know that this something was going to cause her amnesia? Did she think something even worse was going to happen?) was going to happen to her. She did not trust me, but she shouldn't have. I wasn't stable and it took the break up with the love of my life to help me finally realized that. But it was already too late.

"She came to me upon the referral of Apollo to get me to help deliver these letters to you. To keep you happy, to keep tabs on you, so to speak."

I was so embarrassed that both Apollo and Hermes knew that Annabeth had to do this to keep me in line. But it's not the time for me to wallow in my fragile ego: Annabeth was right, I would have been doing much worse without these letters. I'm feeling so many conflicting emotions, but misdirected anger should not be one of them.

Subconsciously, to distract Hermes from my sad, sad state, I blurted, "What did she pay you for this? You don't just service for free." Before I knew that Annabeth lost her memory, I just assumed that she had an in with drachmas and had paid one each to Apollo. But if she had planned all of this pre-emptively, she could not have had that much drachmas in savings.

"I don't need payment from her. She understands my pain. The pain with Luke." Hermes said, "but that's irrelevant. The point is that she might have been threatened by something terrible, even death. She felt that it was unstable and unideal for you to fight whatever this is for her, but wishes to rekindle and reconnect once everything is over."

He paused, "I'm not sure what she meant at first. But it seems like she was waiting for the end of our War two years ago."

 **Thanks for reading another chapter! As per usual, I would encourage you to read _Wonderwall_ , which is the story preceding this fanfic. If you did, you would know exactly what had happened to Annabeth as the story was written in her POV. Older, 18+, fans are also welcome to read Seaside Encounters by Tales After Dark, my alter ego for adult fanfics.**

 **Please leave a review and send in some speculations on what happens next! (Also, _reputation_ is out oh my gods)**


	3. Chapter 3

Evanescence

Chapter 3. Trouble.

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"Lady, running down to the riptide  
Taken away to the dark side  
I wanna be your left-hand man  
I love you when you're singing that song and  
I got a lump in my throat 'cause  
You're gonna sing the words wrong"  
~Riptide, Vance Joy

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I feel cheated out of my two years.

All this time, she was waiting for me. The War was done and I was stupid enough to never check on Annabeth beyond receiving those letters. But those damn letters didn't get to me nearly fast enough, and now I just want to vaporize something and cause some earthquakes and have her back to me. Even though I know that I am not powerful enough to control time (nor will I ever have that power given to me), I still wanted to do anything in my power to obtain that control.

I breathed in and out a few times, trying to clear my head. Already, it's evidence how non-humanized I've started to become three years after leaving her. Two years ago, hearing this news would have made me inclined to punch and scream and act like a man. I've been increasingly distanced from being human, and I missed that. I missed time as a human, or perhaps I have just missed my time loving Annabeth.

I muttered a quick "thanks" to Hermes (and I'm sure he said something out of concern, but I'm not in the right mind to linger around his station) and I stormed back into Atlantis, the water around me heating up to almost a boil. Still careful enough to make sure I don't accidentally hurt any of my subjects, I moved back into my room, obsessed with the idea of finding out what was wrong with Annabeth.

Not that she's wrong. She's perfect, but she doesn't remember me. And I know I am not just being presumptive - I know that she wanted me and loved me and I do her, and by Fates, I know we are meant to be. I just don't understand what some parts are going the way they are, but I'm not being a Crazy Ex-Boyfriend. I just need to help her to remember.

I shook my drawer loose from my desk, put it in the middle of the floor, and gingerly emptied out the contents. They were mainly letters - 36 letters from the past three years. When I got to the bottom of the drawer, I slowed and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. It was that beautiful snow globe Annabeth got me for the only Christmas we shared together. I had never believed in Christianity, but this present had meant a lot to me. Annabeth had told me that she used to collect snow globes when I asked her about her shelf of globes onetime that winter after she knew about me being a god, and I know that the one she gifted me one that matches hers.

I lined the letters up neatly, surveying them. Materializing some lemon juice out of thin air, I carefully swabbed each of them in hopes of finding additional clues.

Nothing.

She signed each letter neatly with invisible ink, but there is nothing else. If she wanted to find me, why wouldn't she write anything in these letters? It seems like her disappearance wasn't premeditated after all. But I found her already, and she doesn't remember me. This by itself is very troubling. The thing is, I don't feel it's right to just show up and make her my own, especially when she doesn't appear to remember me. Piecing what happened to her would be the most troubling thing, as I'm sure she wouldn't be readily telling a stranger what happened to her during these few past years.

Worst of all, I have a really, really bad gut feeling about something. Something is making me very uneasy and I cannot overcome these instincts. But I know despite this apprehensiveness, I must get to the bottom of this (even if I can't be with her. What Hermes said really got to me - I definitely don't _deserve_ her, even if I really want to be with her.)

* * *

It didn't occur to me until later than I would like to admit that I could just _Google_ her or visit her father and her friends. I don't think there would be any leads with Athena because of all that identity crisis she has been through the past year (and the tendency for gods to not keep tabs on their mortal children), and if Annabeth were to lose all her memory, I'm not sure how much Will and/or Katie would know, either.

I have the proof that she still wanted me in her life after all of this, and it was up to me to find out what had happened. With these letters, I don't think even the over-protective Katie would argue much with me.

However, I am nervous to talk to any of Annabeth's friends. I am even more nervous at the prospect to talk to Annabeth's father. This is something I would not admit to anyone else, but even as a god, I am intimidated to talk to the mortals close to Annabeth because their perceptions can very well change Annabeth's perceptions of me. I had assumed that Will knew what happened (me leaving her for her protection), but to literally everyone else in her life, it had seemed like I had just dropped off of the face of the Earth. I had become so much more human - it is ridiculous for some of the other gods to even entertain some of these sentiments and whilst I know I should resent and hate this feebleness, I don't. It had made me love so much stronger.

This does mean that I am especially nervous of ever running into Annabeth's father again, for he must have thought that I had played with her heart and left her without much sincerity, and everyone else must have thought that it had been such a bad breakup that I had just up and left. I hadn't stayed beyond Annabeth's welcome, but now, I regret not at least staying to say goodbyes to some of the other friends that I had made. I had been too busy thinking about myself, my woes, too selfish a god to consider other elements of a human life that I tried to sculpt.

With these thoughts still swimming in my head, I typed "Annabeth Chase" into the search box. There wasn't much, but I read that she had been the awardee of Goode High's Columbia Book Award her senior year, heading into Columbia for architecture. The article said that "following Annabeth Chase's miraculous quick recovery from a brain-related injury her sophomore spring, she had suffered complete amnesia. It was through Student Council President Katie Gardner's, Soccer team co-captain Will Solace's, and UNICEF president Tracey Lagrange's (all seniors like Annabeth Chase, '15) help that she regained her footing both in school and as an actively contributing member in Goode High. As a senior graduating in the top 10% of the class and the driving force behind Goode's reconstruction after the deleterious hurricane that swept through New York last year, Annabeth Chase not only excels academically but also as a valued student. We are proud..."

I kept reading the piece from _The Daily Goode_ , thinking of how proud I am of her too. I had been really alarmed to read about her injury sophomore spring, seemingly the same weeks as we had broken up, but I'm glad to hear that she had done well and that Katie and Will and Tracey had stayed true as friends.

Going back to the search page, I saw that there are only two other links tied to Annabeth Chase. The first I clicked was just her Facebook, which seemed like it didn't get updated since years ago. I was in the profile picture with her, our faces are frozen in time, smiling form the computer. It brought back a lot of nostalgia, and I exited since none of the posts had changed.

The other was also a facebook link. It probably was someone else who had the same name, though "Annabeth Chase" is not a common name to have. Clicking on it, I hadn't expected much. Once the page loads, I nearly had a double take. On it, an older Annabeth Chase (unlike the one I remembered, but the same as the one I saw today) smiled out at me. Next to her, some boy with black hair and green eyes smiled out at me as well. But he wasn't me, and while I have no idea who he was, jealousy panged from my heart.

* * *

 **A/N: Sucks that I couldn't update sooner. School ends for me in four days, though, and I will update then! Please leave some reviews meanwhile, there are a few directions the story can go, and I appreciate any suggestions from you all.**

 **Also, contact me if you are interested in science writing/stem cells/writing about HS/college life! Got an opportunity for you all :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Evanescence**

 **Chapter 4. Something Just Like This.**

* * *

"I've been reading books of old  
The legends and the myths  
Achilles and his gold  
Hercules and his gifts  
Spiderman's control  
And Batman with his fists  
And clearly I don't see myself upon that list  
But she said, where'd you wanna go?  
How much you wanna risk?"

~ _Something Just Like This_ by Coldplay & The Chainsmokers

* * *

I've been restless that night, but there's nothing much I can do. Part of me wanted to give up; I'd been so miserable but I would be even more miserable if it doesn't work out. I knew that I've always wanted to be with her, but if I'm not the best for her then I just shouldn't force it. I just want her to be happy.

The thing is, being who I am and what I am, I know that things are not as simple as it seems. There is a reason why the letter got to me in the end, why Annabeth had set this up and Hermes had agreed to deliver this letter to me, why she wrote what she wrote and what happened to her for that memory loss. It is the Fates, and somehow, they want me to find out what happened and they wanted me to find her.

I wonder when she forgot all of this. And there really isn't anything I can do right now aside from finding out the truth. I can't concentrate or think of literally anything else unless I get a closure on this. Thinking that I'm all kinds of stupid, I made a call to Lee, the President of Columbia University and coincidentally a son of Athena, so that he can forge a path for me to be an undergrad studying marine biology there the right way. I didn't want to use the Mist that sparingly and I wanted to experience the university as Annabeth does.

Maybe I was really naive, but I wanted to mirror what happened with us back in Goode and to have something just like that.

* * *

I stopped by that Starbucks Annabeth and I would stop across Goode, the very one a version of Apollo used to occasionally worked in to keep an eye on Will (though he would never admit it, and this is also something that Will doesn't need to know). He's been long gone from that place, as Will's graduated two and some years ago, but I had a feeling that my cousin and friend is there waiting for me.

I popped in around the corner and strolled in. Apollo was there, as expected, flashing me a 100-watt smile.

"What can I get for you today, Perce? Haven't seen you in a while."

I nodded. "Just a doppio, please."

Apollo quickly made the drink and walked from the back of the counter, folding his green apron and putting it away in the process. So he was here just for me.

"So, what's up." I sighed, sinking into the seat. It's a nice summer day, and another version of myself, the one that wants to just forget about all of this and be carefree for once this year, is out there surfing on the beautiful San Diego beaches.

"You tell me what's up, man." Apollo gazed at me intently as I finished my double espresso shot in one go. "By all accounts, you went into a state of depression a couple of years ago. Which as you know, doesn't happen to us gods all that often unless something is really, really wrong. Like what Athena suffered a while back. I thought you got better, though you really disappeared on me - and I thought I'm your best friend. I've been giving you a lot of time to recover, but then there's all that unease in the tides throughout the last day, so something must have happened."

Apollo is not the overly verbal kind of friend, so I was surprised that he divulged all of that in one go. I'm honestly pretty flattered that he showed this kind of concern, and I also felt bad that I didn't at least let him know I've been doing alright.

"First of all, quit going to Australia that often. Poor folks at getting so much sun over there these few years," I started, distracting him so that he can stop worrying about me.

"Don't you distract me-"

"Apollo, I'm fine, okay? It's just been a tough break up. I loved her, and you know." Apollo nodded sympathetically but I know that he had no idea what that kind of love feels like. He's not the type to settle; he knocks up as many girls as he can.

"And are you over her yet?"

"Actually, I just found her not that long ago-" I started, and Apollo groaned. I understand where he's coming from, to some extent, but of course, I disagree.

"Perce, you are obsessed. It's not healthy. She's just a mortal, and I know you love her, but you should let go."

I shook my head. "She asked me to find her. And she's lost all her memory."

"What do you mean?"

I explained the happenings in the last few days to Apollo, including my plan to head to Columbia.

"That is a horrible idea," Apollo concluded. I was about to argue, but he continued. "But if that's what you want to do, I'll support you however I can. I just want you to find happiness again, Percy, and I don't want this to break your heart even further. Things change quickly for mortals - I thought I really liked Will's mother, maybe I even loved her. But five years was a blink and when I had gone back to visit when Will was four, she's already found someone else. Someone else she is happy in love with. And it's not my place to tamper with that."

"But Annabeth asked me to find her. And I never knew what happiness was before her." I said, but even my words suddenly sounded immature to my ears.

"The Annabeth three years ago. But Perce, I'm not here to argue with you what you should or shouldn't do. I'm just here to let you know that there are substantial risks to going back and reopening this. Some memories are better left alone. Some things are just not meant to be."

I sighed, taking his words in, but also tossing them aside. Doubts are starting to creep in and I couldn't let that happen. I could never give up on my Wise Girl. She meant the world to me, and we were so happy together.

Apollo didn't press on, so the two of us sat in a corner by the window, looking at the bustling city right outside and thinking of our pasts.

* * *

The first day and I'm heading to _The True and the Good_ , a philosophy class that can help fulfill my Global Core Requirement. It sounded absolutely miserable for me (as I do not have any aptitude nor desire to learn about philosophy) but I knew that Annabeth was in that class. And I wanted to approach her, somehow.

That was my goal - I was curious to some extent to see how higher education works nowadays (the last time I sat in a college must have been 500 years ago, sometime in the 1500s at Oxford), but more than that, I wanted to _find_ her, whatever that really means.

I arranged it so that I was in Intermediate Swimming, something Annabeth's taking to fulfill one of her PhysEd requirements. At least it's not Beginning Swimming, which I probably could not fit in even if I tried. The other thing is that I'll get to see Annabeth in her bathing suit (and whilst I try to not subject her to a typical male gaze, I can't help but think about her in a lustful way; we've never gone that far, but she is of age now, and we were together). I'm in another bigger biological science lecture class and one more focused on marine biology, neither of which Annabeth is in. These are classes I truly enjoy and want to take anyway, and this way she wouldn't think of me as the stalker that I am.

College is much more freeform - there's no Katie bounding down the hall to me welcoming me to the school, or anyone like Annabeth to act as my guide. I've been settled in my dorm (Wallach, in the Living Learning Center), and purchased my textbooks the day prior. Taking my backpack, I headed towards the aptly named Philosophy Hall, with a statue of _The Thinker_ set in front of the hall.

I walked into the classroom and quickly spotted Annabeth sitting in the third row - I wanted to sit in the seat next to hers and join her, but decided that it would probably be strange. Instead, I opted to sit in the seat in the row behind her, next to a blond-haired boy who was rummaging through his backpack.

"Annabeth," he said, "I can't find my pencil. Can I borrow one of yours?" He looked up, and I locked eyes with Will Solace.

"Percy?" Will said, incredulous.

"What's that?" Annabeth said, turning around, seeing me. "Will," she said worriedly, "that's the guy I told you about. That's the guy who called me by a weird name a few days ago."

Will gave me a look that I've known all too well. A look of disapproval, surprise, and something else.

* * *

 **Told you guys I'd update faster. Hopefully, I'll be able to update every week for the next 14 weeks or so until senior year hits. School's been an absolute L. All my continuous hard work the past year had been dismantled by a professor who dislikes me, so idk. I don't ever know if anything ever matters anymore, though. I've been so burnt out.**

 **Meanwhile, friends, I would appreciate an encouragement or two. And tell me what you want to see in this story!**


	5. Chapter 5

"It's hard to believe that I couldn't see  
You were always there beside me  
Thought I was alone, with no one to hold  
But you were always right beside me  
This feeling's like no other  
I want you to know"

~ _What I've been Looking for, High School Musical_

* * *

 **Evanescence**

 **Chapter 5 -** ** _Life Goes On?_**

* * *

"Will," I said evenly.

"Will, do you know him?" Annabeth said, still in a worried tone. "Is he… from… before…?"

"Yes. He's from 'before.'" Will said with finality. "We were all good friends; you used to know him too."

"Hey, I was more-" I retorted without thinking, but the lecturer didn't wait for me to finish before starting the day's class (so happened to just be the third lecture of the semester, so I didn't miss much).

Annabeth shot me a few weird glances throughout, but she didn't comment much on anything else in the class, presumably waiting for Will to explain the whole situation to her. I really wonder how much he said, and how much he didn't say throughout these past two years, but I imagine the scale was not tipped very heavily in my favor. I did, after all, left without much of an explanation to anyone. I never thought I needed to.

During the group exercises period when we were instructed to reconcile Mill's utilitarianism with the ethics of the trolley problem vs. the surgeon problem, I was excited to turn and form a group with Annabeth and co, but she quickly twisted to work with the girls sitting next to her on her row.

Instead, Will tapped on my shoulder and pointed to the two guys behind us. "Let's work with them," he hissed, "and we need to talk after class together first before you try to do anything."

I frowned, and I resigned to working with some guys named Tobias and Peter, and of course, Will. I hadn't thought about this in a long time, but whilst I see Will as a friend, I know that he sees me as an older brother/authority figure. Telling me what to do must have taken a lot of courage, even if it did not appear outwardly so. Him acting this way on Annabeth's behalf must mean that they are still close friends and I am relieved knowing that.

When the class was over by 11:30am, Annabeth quietly asked Will if he wanted to grab lunch with her in the dining hall. Will refused, saying that he wanted to catch up with me for a bit. Annabeth didn't say anything to that; she just looked at me intently with those gray eyes that I love.

She nodded, and then turned away, without extending me the same offer she gave Will.

"She doesn't remember me." I said with finality.

"She doesn't." Will confirmed.

"She remembers you?" I asked Will, knowing what the answer is already.

"No, not after her incident."

"What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know more any more than you do." Will replied.

I signed; it seemed like no one more was the wiser on why she lost her memories, except that she somehow needed to have a tumor excised shortly after I left. Even though I was not there physically, I made sure (forced) Apollo to give him his blessings. The operation went as well as it could for a tumor that aggressive, but I know something more sinister was happening. Human illness, after all, is the result of bad humor, and bad humor (in this case, bad _black_ humor) is caused by evil spirits, not because of anything else.

"I tried everything I could, but her memories are gone." Will said.

I believe him. Knowing him, the boy probably risked his life trying to see if he can bring Annabeth her memory back. I would not be surprised if he tried to use his share-view abilities with her, but that can get exceeding dangerous with an individual who has a gap in their mental sphere.

I sighed and shook my head. I know there's something more that I can do as a god, and there's something more I should do as her lover. But I don't know what.

Going to Styx would be of no use. She is not dead, but the memories are lost somewhere. Somehow locked inside her, waiting to be recovered. I don't believe for a second that they are just conveniently _gone_ because of the ailment, and I don't believe for a second that the ailment was a chance happening in the beginning. It is just frustrating because I know so little about anything. I suppose this is what Annabeth feels like when she cannot solve a problem.

"We need to do something more here." I told Will. "I don't know what we need to do, but I have to get to the bottom of this."

Will then looked at me strangely. "I don't want to get you to smite me or anything, but I'm not sure if this is your place. I'm not even sure if that's for the best. This may not be what Annabeth wants."

"Not what Annabeth wants? You have no idea what she wants." I raised my voice a little and Will stops in his tracks. We were working on heading to a restaurant in Upper West Side to talk more, but I'm not sure I have the appetite or the energy right now.

"Annabeth is not the same Annabeth she was a few years ago, but that aside, what are you even doing here Perseus?" Will asked. I felt my temper building, all the frustration and worry and anger bubbling right underneath, but I was still well under control. I've learned my lesson and gained some insights on my ever explosive Green god nature (as opposed to the more flawed human nature), and I have learned to control my emotions much better over the past few years. Nothing is Will's fault here after all.

"I'm here because Annabeth asked me to," I held up a finger to stop Will from what he was about to protest, "I'm here because the old Annabeth sent me a message with her letters. She asked me to find her." I finished. I fished the letter out from my backpack and unfolded it, eliciting a gasp from him.

"Are you telling the truth?" Will asked. Even though his father is the god of truth and he has very good internal lie radar, Will still recognizes that as a god, I would have no trouble to lie for my own benefits.

I looked at my friend in the eye very evenly, and said "Yes."

Will sighed. "I believe you. You know, I would probably have already beaten the shit out of you if you were not a god and I'm afraid of dying." I didn't know what to make of that, so I ignored his comment. "Hey, to be fair, I thought you were the one who left. I thought you were just like all the other gods, especially after me telling you how important it is to not hurt her like that. And to make it worse, you just had to decide to come back now that she's, ah, never mind."

"Now that she's what?" I asked, hating that Will was getting increasingly nervous.

"Do you promise to not kill me?"

"I'll try," I said, half serious. Will didn't look that convinced, but he knew that he wasn't getting out of this.

"Well, she's with someone now, but it doesn't seem like you know. When you just showed up, I thought you just had a spontaneous change of heart." Will said.

"Ah, I see," I said, a little dejected. The thing is, I'm not even angry. I had a feeling deep down; I already knew. I pulled up Annabeth's Facebook and pointed to the boy. "Is that him?" I asked. "Dylan?"

"Yeah, that's him. He's not that bad." Will commented after I essentially spat out his name with disgust. It's true, I'm mad. I know it's not the guy's fault, but I mean, she essentially replaced one sea god with another: not that Dylan is one, but his name's origin literally comes from Welsh folk myths, where the son of the sea god was named Dylan.

…He also looks strikingly similar to me, so there's that.

Will seemed like he wanted to say something else, but he held his tongue. Honestly, I'm not in any condition to know more right now, but I would be curious to see what he has to say later.

"Why didn't you come back sooner? I understand that you had to leave for the Great War, but—"

"I didn't leave because of the Great War, though I participated in it."

"Then why the hell did you leave?" Will said accusatorily, _you're just like them_ was left unsaid.

"I didn't choose to leave. She told me to leave her."

"Annabeth, the Annabeth that was smitten with you and cried for days and days, told you to leave?" I remember seeing her like that in my scrying bowl, and my heart ached.

"She did. She said it's because I have too much power and I hurt people because of it. And it's true. I unintentionally killed a lot of mortals because I was angry at how some people intended to hurt her one night." I confessed.

Will looked shocked, and he looked at me with sadness. I think he can only begin to imagine how much self-loathing I have for myself. I try to divert the conversation somewhere else, to not let myself dwell on this for far too long and ask about how Will's doing.

I care about my friend, but time's slippage made it so that I can never quite keep track of my mortal friends. It's weird how three years can change a person – his voice had gotten deeper, his eyes older, and his outlook even grimmer.

"How about you? How are you doing? Did you and Tracey ever worked out?"

"No, she moved to Boston for college. But I'm dating this guy called Nico."

"Nico?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, he's great. He's a son of Hades." I raised both of my eyebrows in surprised and whistled. "Huh, didn't know you've got so much game. Apollo would be proud."

Will shook his head. "Anyway, I'm okay. I've just been getting my EMT certification and taking the pre-med route here. Turns out that I'm 'oddly' good at healing people, according to my instructor." Will scoffed. "But otherwise, to fill you in on how the rest of the crew are doing, Katie and Travis are getting closer than ever, and Travis had stepped in to take care of the garden shop while Katie studies at NYU. Sam and Alyssa are doing fine at the camp (and you should check on them if you haven't recently), and a lot of people are still recuperating form the War. But life goes on." Will shrugged.

"Life goes on," I repeated, not believing it for a bit. Life never goes on for gods, and though I am living very much in the present, a lot of my life blends together. What happened a millennium ago could have happened to me yesterday, and I would remember just as clearly. For me, Annabeth only told me off a few hours ago, then I saw the letter a few minutes ago, and now I am looking to "find her," whatever that means. But that could have also all happened three lifetimes ago, and that would make no difference for me.

But Will doesn't have to know that. He doesn't need anymore on his plate, and he deserves to enjoy happiness for a while. I am alone in this venture.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope everyone is doing well! Things are finally turning up a little for me, and I am cautiously optimistic. Meanwhile, I hope to have a more regular update starting this week. If you are interested in being a beta for me (or have any song/title recommendations for _Evanescence_ , please don't hesitate to let me know.) **


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